With the government announcement that it intends to introduce “no fault” divorce to end the “blame game” in divorce proceedings, many in the media assume that divorce proceedings will get a lot less stressful for the couples involved, and perhaps more importantly for their children. However, the best London divorce solicitors have tended to find that couples who are separating or divorcing find that starting divorce proceedings because of a partner’s adultery or unreasonable behaviour is not one of the most stressful aspects of a separation or divorce.
A separating couple often see the contents of the divorce
petition as a means to an end in securing a divorce
, frequently because by the time the divorce
proceedings are started they have had a bit of time or counselling to help them come to terms with the commencement of divorce
If it is not the divorce
proceedings themselves that are the most stressful aspect of a divorce
then what is the stressful part of getting divorced? The top London divorce solicitors
say that separating couples tend to find the following aspects of a separation
are the most difficult:
• Making the decision to separate, once the decision to end the relationship has been made most couples say they feel less stressed as the decision has been taken;
• Telling the children about the separation;
• Telling family, friends and work colleagues about the separation;
• Coping with not seeing the children every night if it is agreed that the children spend overnight time with the other parent. Another stressful time is a child’s first absence on holiday with their other parent after a separation or divorce;
• Deciding who should stay in the family home or if it should be sold and, if so, the stress of buying and moving into a new property. However, although many people say that the conveyancing process of buying and moving into a new home is stressful, most say that the fresh start was what they needed;
• Reaching a financial settlement and sorting out how assets are divided, for example, the family business or pensions.
How can OTS Solicitors help?
London based OTS Solicitors provide advice on all aspects of family and divorce law
and provide pragmatic, professional advice tailored to your individual personal and financial circumstances.
Best tips on how to reduce divorce stress
Take time for yourself
If you are thinking about a separation
, you may be worried about how your partner will react to the news, the children, or your parents. Often you are way down on your list of priorities. Whilst that is totally understandable, it is often not healthy. Whilst it is not legal advice, the best London divorce solicitors
would recommend that you take time for yourself, whether it is an hour in the gym or with a friend or just a walk in the park.
If you are feeling emotional or things feel out of control then it may be a good idea to speak to a counsellor or to your doctor about how you are feeling.
Stand back from social media
When you are going through a separation
, social media and contact with friends via Facebook and other social media sites can be a source of great comfort. However, top London divorce solicitors
caution against the use of too much social media, especially if it is used to sound off against a partner or is used to track their whereabouts and see who they are with.
The old adage “think before you speak” is just as true when you are on social media as once out there your words can come back to haunt you, by being quoted back to you in court proceedings.
Talking to the children
The best London divorce solicitors
can find that parents are reluctant to tell their children about a planned separation
, wanting to protect their children for as long as possible. Whilst that is completely understandable, children will pick up on vibes at home or can inadvertently find things out from the children of friends and family. That is why ideally both parents will talk to children together about the planned separation
so that the children hear “one message” from both parents and can ask questions.
Parents tend to worry that they cannot tell the children about a planned separation
until they have all the answers, such as where they and the children will live long term, the date that one partner will leave the family home and move into rented accommodation, the precise custody and contact arrangements. The top London divorce solicitors
will tell you that you do not need to know the answers to all those questions before starting to speak to the children, as it will not be one conversation but the start of a dialogue.
Take legal advice
A top London divorce
solicitor will tell you to take legal advice, won't they? The answer is yes, but for the right reasons. If you choose your London divorce
solicitor with care, the divorce
solicitor will be able to reach an agreement over parenting arrangements, custody and access and your financial settlement options. Practical and pragmatic advice taken either before your separation
or at an early stage after your separation
can help you avoid contested children or financial proceedings.
The best London divorce solicitors
recommend that you choose a divorce
solicitor that you feel you can work with. You do not want one that you find intimidating. Equally, you do not want one that says yes to everything you want to do, without questioning or explaining the legal ramifications of your decisions. A London divorce
solicitor needs to give you honest advice about your legal options and the costs involved of the actions or court proceedings that you want to take. If you are not getting that level of service from your London divorce
solicitor then they may add to the stress of your separation
. The right London divorce
solicitor should work with you to minimise the stress of your relationship breakdown.
How can OTS Solicitors help?
OTS Solicitors provide specialist divorce
and family law
advice tailored to individual personal and financial circumstances. The aim of the family law
team at OTS Solicitors is to try to make sure that your separation
is kept as amicable as possible. That keeps your legal costs down and helps you and the family cope with the relationship breakdown.
Please get in touch with us on 0203 959 9123 to arrange an appointment to speak to one of our experienced London divorce solicitors who will be happy to help you.