A Family Law Solicitors Guide for Separated Parents on how to Negotiate Child Holiday Contact
If you are a separated or divorced parent, it can be a real struggle if your ex-partner won't agree to your holiday dates or holiday outside the UK.
In this article, our Family Law Solicitors explain how best to negotiate child holiday contact.
Speak to London Family Lawyers for Child Contact Advice.
Appointments are available at our offices in London or by phone or online via Zoom or Team meetings.
The law on child holiday contact
The law in England on child holiday contact can be summarised as:
- Most parents in England have parental responsibility for their children. Where parents share parental responsibility, they need to agree on child contact and parenting arrangements. Otherwise, an application can be made to the family court to get a child arrangement order or holiday order.
- An unmarried father may not have parental responsibility for his child if he isn't named on the child’s birth certificate. He can get parental responsibility by signing a parental responsibility agreement with the child’s mother or by applying to the court for a parental responsibility order.
- Court rules encourage parents to reach an agreement on parenting arrangements rather than making a court application for a child arrangement order or specific issue order. Many parents use family mediation coupled with specialist legal advice from a family lawyer to help them negotiate contact.
- A child arrangement order can be sought if parents can't reach an agreement on living or contact arrangements. The order can say the child lives with one parent and has contact with the other parent or say there is shared care. A child arrangement order isn't necessary if there is an agreement on the parenting arrangements.
- Most child arrangement orders cover holiday contact in broad terms. The order may say that both parents will share school holidays equally or that one parent will get one week at Christmas and Easter holidays and two weeks in the summer holidays on dates to be negotiated by the parents.
- Parents cannot take their child abroad on holiday without first getting the written consent of the other parent UNLESS they have a child arrangement order that says the child lives with them. The law says that with a ‘lives with’ order a parent can take their child abroad on holiday for up to 28 days.
- If an ex-partner objects to the foreign holiday and there is no child arrangement order, or the order doesn’t say the child lives with one parent, then the parent who wants to go abroad on holiday needs to apply for a holiday order or specific issue order. If not, the other parent could apply to the court for a prohibited steps order to stop the parent from taking the child abroad on holiday.
- A parent who takes their child abroad on holiday without the necessary agreement or a court order could be accused of parental child abduction. The child could be prevented from boarding your flight.
- If a parent wants to take their child on holiday in England or wants to look after the child during the school holidays, they will need a child arrangement order if they cannot agree to a holiday contact schedule with the other parent.
- When a court is asked to make a child arrangement order, specific issue order, prohibited steps order or holiday order it will consider what is in the best interests of the child.
- A parent receiving child support cannot make the parent paying child support pay extra maintenance to cover half the cost of school activity clubs during the holidays during the time the child is not in their care.
Negotiating child holiday contact
As specialist Family Law Solicitors in London, our team spends a significant proportion of each day negotiating child contact, including holiday contact.
Ideally, separating parents will negotiate parenting arrangements and record their agreement in a parenting plan. While you won't be able to agree on specific holiday dates years in advance it is a good idea to record what has been agreed in principle, such as all school holidays are split equally or that the child spends Xmas with each parent on alternate years or that one parent always gets contact during the last two weeks of the school summer holidays.
Even parents who sign parenting plans can have difficulty negotiating contact. For example, if a parent has started a new relationship and the child or other parent doesn’t like the new partner or their children.
Here are our Family Law Solicitors top tips for negotiating holiday contact for your children:-
- Be organised and proactive – that means plan early, ideally at the start of each year when you get the school term dates.
- Be persistent – a common complaint is that one parent puts forward contact proposals and the other parent doesn’t respond. That doesn’t work for most families as working parents need to book time off work months in advance if there is competition with other employees to take time off during school holidays.
- Be clear – many contact disputes started over a misunderstanding and then escalated. For example, if you want to take your child to a family wedding make it clear that you are willing to swop contact dates so the other parent doesn’t lose out on contact or be clear and reassure the other parent about how childcare will work out if all the family is celebrating the wedding.
- Be flexible- you may object to the children being taken overseas for four weeks to see relatives in India because you will barely get to see the children during the summer holidays but consider flexibility if you are planning a similar trip in 2026 or if your ex-partner is offering to let you have the children for all the Xmas and Easter holidays.
- Think child – you may hate the idea of your child going to Spain with their other parent and new partner. Maybe that’s because you actively dislike the new partner or because you want to be the one who has the first overseas holiday with your child. The best way to focus on what your child wants or needs. That can be hard when you are newly separated or when you blame the third party for the breakdown of your marriage but your child gets on with them.
- Consult a Family Law Solicitor early if you can't reach an agreement over holiday contact. Sometimes a letter from a solicitor will help you achieve the contact you think is in your child’s best interests. However, you must act quickly if you need to apply for a holiday order so you can holiday abroad or to get a prohibited steps order to stop your ex-partner from taking your child abroad because you fear child abduction or have concerns about the safety of the holiday destination.
At OTS Solicitors our team of specialist Family Lawyers pride themselves on negotiating contact even in situations where parents have lost hope of ever being able to get their former partner to see reason or to put the needs of their child above their own interests or to even respond to your reasonable contact proposals in a timely manner.
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