Co-Parenting After Parental Separation
When you separate and divorce, there is a whole new legal terminology for parents to learn from the old language of child custody and contact to co-parenting and shared care.
In this blog, our Family Law Solicitors look at the concept of co-parenting after a separation or divorce.
Contact Online and London Family Law Solicitors for children law legal advice.
What is co-parenting after parental separation?
Co-parenting after a separation is the joint or collaborative participation of both parents in bringing up their child in two households.
You can be a great co-parent even though you only get to spend alternate weekends with your child. Alternatively, both parents can be awful at co-parenting, despite having committed to spending an equal amount of time with their children.
Co-parenting is not about the amount of time spent in parenting, but about your willingness to act cooperatively with your co-parent in making decisions in the best interests of your children and prioritising your children's needs.
How do parents agree to co-parent after a separation?
Some parents can put their differences aside and work together to create a plan for co-parenting. Others require assistance to reach an agreement on the living and contact arrangements for their children following parental separation.
Co-parenting can be explored through:
- Family Law Solicitor negotiations
- Round table meetings
- Family mediation
- Family counselling
If you cannot reach an agreement on your child’s living and contact arrangements, then either parent can ask the court to make a child arrangement order. This order will specify the child’s living arrangements, including the time spent with each parent.
If parents accept the decision of the judge making the child arrangement order, it is still possible to successfully co-parent a child, despite the earlier court proceedings. However, it is harder to do so if you and your ex-partner have gone through contested child arrangement order proceedings where allegations have been made and things said about the other parent’s parenting abilities. That’s why Family Lawyers recommend that parents try to reach an agreement on the childcare arrangements for their children.
Agreeing on a co-parenting plan
If you are committed to co-parenting, it's best to formulate a plan so that co-parenting has the best chance of success. This type of plan is often referred to as a parenting plan. It identifies the living arrangements and outlines the ground rules for co-parenting the child.
The parenting plan may need to be tweaked and adapted as the child grows up or as circumstances change.
Tips on co-parenting
At OTS Solicitors, our Family Lawyers help many families devise parenting plans that allow both parents to successfully co-parent without the need to apply for a child arrangement order.
Here are our tips on co-parenting:
- Take legal advice as soon as you can so neither you nor your ex-partner ends up in polarised positions and having said things you regret about the other’s parenting.
- Don’t badmouth the other parent to your child or others, as your comments will get back to your co-parent and may encourage them to badmouth you.
- Focus on your child’s needs rather than your wishes. A child may want or need more contact with their other parent, even if you would be happy if there were no contact.
- Don’t over-commit because if you cannot collect from the nursery or school, due to work or other reasons, it is best to be upfront rather than let your child and the other parent down.
- Write a parenting plan, even though some of the things seem obvious, it's best to have a written record of what has been agreed upon.
- Agree to communicate about the mundane and important issues. That could be via WhatsApp or text, so both of you know what is going on and don’t feel marginalised.
- Work to your strengths, so if one of you is not great at one aspect of parenting, the other one handles it.
- Don’t take the other parent for granted and therefore expect them to do all the homework or provide all the freshly laundered school clothes.
- Be flexible and agree to changes, as there will be times when you also need the living or contact arrangements to be adjusted because of your commitments.
- Don’t hide things such as a new partner, plans to remarry, a pregnancy or any of the other things that are private to you but also affect your children and your co-parent.
How OTS Solicitors can help you reach a co-parenting agreement
At OTS Solicitors, our Family Law Solicitors focus on helping you reach an agreement on the living and contact arrangements for your children. We can:
- Provide you with legal advice on likely living arrangement outcomes if you were to apply to the family court for a child arrangement order.
- Negotiate a childcare agreement for you to include important issues such as holiday contact and child support.
- Help you write a parenting plan that encompasses what you have agreed upon.
- Advise you on making changes to your current parenting plan.
- Explain how your co-parenting agreement may affect your financial settlement or child support.
Our friendly team is here to help you reach an amicable resolution. If that’s impossible, we will support and guide you through the application process for a child arrangement order.
Contact Online and London Family Law Solicitors for children law legal advice.
Frequently Asked Questions on Co-parenting
Will a court always order shared parenting?
The court will order living arrangements that it believes meet your child’s physical and emotional needs. That may not be a 50/50 split of your child’s time if that does not work for practical or other reasons. These include domestic violence in the relationship, a high-conflict separation and divorce or child welfare concerns.
A Family Law Solicitor can advise on the prospects of the court ordering shared parenting if an application for a child arrangement order is made.
Is co-parenting best for children?
Effective co-parenting is always best for children after a separation or divorce, provided that the child can be safely cared for by both parents and both parents can work together in the best interests of their children.
Co-parenting does not necessarily mean that the children will spend an equal amount of time in the care of both parents. The children or one or both parents may prefer a different type of parenting arrangement.
Do you need a child arrangement order to co-parent?
You do not need a child arrangement order to co-parent your children after a separation or divorce. The family court will typically only make a child arrangement order if the parents cannot reach an agreement on the living or contact arrangements for their children.
What is the best co-parenting agreement?
There is no best co-parenting agreement, as every child and family is different. The important thing is to come up with an agreement that meets the needs of your children and one that you and your co-parent can commit to and make work. A Family Lawyer can help you negotiate a parenting plan to avoid one of you making an application to court for a child arrangement order.
Contact Online and London Family Law Solicitors for children law legal advice.
Call OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or contact us online.
Our lawyers speak Arabic, Armenian, Farsi, French/Mauritian Creole, Spanish, Tamil, Tagalog/Ilonggo, Urdu/Punjabi.
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