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How do you Divorce a Narcissist?

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Divorce solicitors often come across people with narcissistic personality disorders. It perhaps isn’t surprising that narcissists tend to be on the receiving end of divorce petitions but London divorce solicitors acknowledge that separating from a narcissist isn’t easy. In this blog we look at how to divorce a narcissist.

London divorce solicitors

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and need help with a separation or divorce then the experienced team of family lawyers at OTS Solicitors can help you. Call us on 0203 959 9123 or complete our online enquiry form by clicking here.

Am I married to a narcissist?

Not everyone realises that the person that they are married to or in a relationship with is a narcissist. Just as with many personality types, there are varying degrees of narcissistic personality disorder. However, all narcissists have some similar traits.

A narcissist is defined as someone who has an excessive interest in themselves. Whilst we all may preen a bit about our achievements, a narcissist is totally focussed on admiring themselves.

If you are reading this blog and you recognise this trait in your partner then you may be in a relationship with or married to a person with a narcissistic personality disorder. The personality traits are:

  • Live in a fantasy world built around them and in it they are the centre of attention
  • A sense of entitlement and self-importance
  • Requiring constant praise and attention but not recognising the need to encourage others
  • Prepared to exploit other people without feeling any guilt about doing so
  • Willing to belittle others without appreciating or being concerned about the impact of their behaviour on others around them.

If your husband, wife, civil partner or cohabitee displays some of those personality features then you may be living with someone who is displaying narcissistic personality disorder traits. That is extremely wearing and difficult behaviour to live with so it isn’t surprising that separation and divorce is common particularly as those with narcissistic personality disorders are resistant to acknowledging the impact of their narcissism on those that live with them or to accept the need to change.

London divorce solicitors

If you are planning to separate from or divorce a narcissist then you will need the help of a specialist family law solicitor who has got experience in advising in narcissistic personality disorder divorces. Call the family law team at OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or click here.

Separating from a narcissist

Most experienced family law solicitors say that it is best to talk to your partner about why you want to separate or divorce  to see if you can understand your point of view. Even if your relationship is over most people recognise that it is best to separate as amicably as possible.

However, when it comes to separating from a narcissist or someone with a narcissistic personality disorder family law solicitors will tell you that there is a different set of rules and guidance. That is because those who truly have a narcissistic personality disorder are not capable of thinking that the marriage or relationship breakdown is even partially their fault or be prepared to consider anyone’s needs other than their own. That means it is pretty difficult to get anywhere with family mediation as family mediation relies on both partners in a relationship that has broken down being willing to mediate and reach a compromise.

It can be extremely frustrating if your partner turns your separation or divorce into discussions about them rather than focussing on how the separation will impact on your children or how you will both move on with your lives. As someone with a narcissistic personality disorder can overwhelm you (because they are so focussed on their own needs) it is best to have an experienced family law solicitor on your side so your needs don’t get lost or ignored and you don’t end up with a financial settlement that you end up regretting agreeing to because of your partner’s attitude towards your separation or divorce.

Can I divorce a narcissist?

If your husband or wife has a narcissistic personality disorder then the probability is that you will have the grounds to start divorce proceedings against them based on their unreasonable behaviour.  Under current divorce law, you can start divorce proceedings if your marriage has irretrievably broken down and your spouse has behaved unreasonably, such as ignoring your wishes or belittling you or prioritising their interests above those of the rest of the family.

Many people who display narcissistic personality traits will say that they haven’t behaved unreasonably and say that they won't agree to separate or divorce. If you find yourself in that position it is best to get legal advice as a specialist family law solicitor can advise you about contested divorce proceedings and how best to secure your divorce.

Injunction proceedings against narcissistic spouses

If you plan to separate from a partner or spouse who has a narcissistic personality disorder or traits it is important to tell your divorce solicitor about their behaviour and how it impacts on you and your children. The solicitor can then advise you on the best options for you, including the possibility of applying for a non-molestation injunction order or an occupation order.

Those who are in a relationship with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder often think that they don’t or won't meet the eligibility criteria for an injunction order but if your partner has been emotionally or psychologically abusive or has exercised coercive control and behaviour towards you then potentially you could secure an injunction order.

The narcissist parent and contact with the children

It isn’t just you who is affected if you are in a relationship with or married to someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. Your children are too.

You may want to stop contact between your children and your partner as your spouse or partner is incapable of putting the children’s needs before their own wishes. However, it is best to take specialist legal advice before coming to any firm decisions about custody and contact arrangements.

If you do end up making an application to court or responding to an application by your partner it is important to make sure that your divorce solicitor highlights what your partner’s narcissistic personality disorder has been like to live with on the family and how any planned contact arrangements would affect you and the children in future.

London divorce and family law solicitors

If you need help and advice on how to separate or divorce a partner with a narcissistic personality disorder then the friendly and approachable team of family law team at OTS Solicitors can help you. Offering practical legal advice and support and no-nonsense robust representation in court proceedings our experienced divorce and family law solicitors will achieve the best outcomes for you and your family.

Call OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or click here

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