Child maintenance assistance

I have been divorced for 10 years after leaving a severely abusive partner. He since used the spousal maintenance as a way of financially controlling me and had even stopped it at times. He last year now stopped paying for his son ( both kids have chosen no contact due to the abuse they suffered and we have a non mol order in place) who is still at university for another 2 years. He equally stopped sharing the ordered percentage of his Xmas bonus with his son. He wants to force contact by withholding payments asking for the children to contact him directly to address ongoing support. That is blackmail. In addition the maintenance has not been adjusted to the severe rise in living costs nor the fact that both kids had severe illnesses as a result of his abuse and been in need of home schooling for a year each. I am left to pay for the private health cover which due to the kids illnesses is now at 13K. Due to the fact that they were so ill for many years and partly still are my work has suffered and I can not meet the costs on my own anymore. The maintenance was in the first place based on both kids boarding which they never did as they got ill so instead they lived with me meaning I could not travel as planned any longer and had additional living costs with both kids with me 367 and 24/7 as they never had contact with their father. All those additional costs were left on my doorstep. Last year I lost my job and really struggling now yet my ex decided to stop supporting his son. The already low maintenance will stop end of 2024 so want to have it extended. The thought of having to go back to court and deal with lawyers is daunting but my financial situation and the kids health leave me no option. He has always bullied us and used money to get contact. I had to let several job opportunities pass to look after our daughter who has POT's which is a debilitating heart condition as well as CFS. He is a member of several clubs, goes skiing and never had costs taking his kids on holidays every year or host them every other weekend nor set up a room for them. As mentioned due to the abuse they suffered they rejected contact so I had to finance them and their friends all year round. The thought of taking legal actions terrifies me and for years I had plastic bags of unopened post as I was so traumatised from 3 years of contact hearings he forced on us and we have seen every social worker. Still, he was not even granted supervised contact given his behaviour and previous abuse and physical attack on me. I am living in the UK with no family of my own so when the kids started to get ill I had to put my own life and career on hold as I had zero family support from my family. His own father at some stage was so ashamed that he supported us for a time by sending money each month and he had paid my medical bills after I was beaten up by his son. I am scared and angry that he yet again gets away with causing such distress but the kids welfare has to come first and it is his duty to look after them financially regardless of them seeing him or not as his abuse is the reason they don't. My son, despite suffering from depression works to support his rent and plays in several bands to make money while at uni. My daughter has moved back in with me as she needs to emotional support given she suffers from CFS and often lacks energy. Despite all her issues she is a 3rd her medical student and I am immensely proud of both my kids. I will always put them first but that means my work has suffered significantly. Now I can hardly pay my monthly bills-in fact I can't as my outgoings top my income! I'd appreciate a chat about my options to extend the maintenance and have it adjusted to the actual living costs.

Public Answer

Good afternoon and thanks for making contact. This is certainly an area we have extensive experience with and would be happy to discuss with you, with a view to assisting. One of our team will be in touch ASAP.

[This question has been successfully answered by our lawyers in a private e-mail]